A Recovery Blog

This blog is about my continuing recovery from severe mental illness and addiction. I celebrate this recovery by continuing to write, by sharing my music and artwork and by exploring Buddhist and 12 Step ideas and concepts. I claim that the yin/yang symbol is representative of all of us because I have found that even in the midst of acute psychosis there is still sense, method and even a kind of balance. We are more resilient than we think. We can cross beyond the edge of the sane world and return to tell the tale. A deeper kind of balance takes hold when we get honest, when we reach out for help, when we tell our stories.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Home Life

I took the two cats and three kittens to the vet yesterday afternoon. I'm happy to say that they are all in good health. They got their shots, though I have to return in three weeks for the kittens to get their second round of shots. I also made an appointment for the cats to be castrated, but not for another month. I found out from the vet that one of the kittens that I thought was a male is a female, so there are two females and one male. I'm tentatively calling them Pablo (after Picasso), Ani (after Ani DiFranco) and Jessie. It was Jessie that I wasn't sure about, so I gave her a gender neutral name. When I thought she was a boy I was naming her after Jesse James. I also called her the Sundance Kid. They aren't strikingly original names, but that's all I could come up with on short notice. They now have a room of their own, a real play room with a play center that has several levels and two other pseudo caves to play in. I've also set up a way for them to get to the window and a way for them to get up on my wicker chair in the corner of the room. The doctor says that they are seven to seven and a half weeks old, so I was approximately right about their ages. They alternate between having high energy and practically bouncing off the walls and sleeping or resting. They are getting more and more confident about climbing and jumping daily. They've come a long way in just a week.

My parents arrive from Florida in three weeks and Richard says he thinks the work will be done downstairs by then, so one or both of my parents might be able to stay with me in the bedroom downstairs, but I have to get the upstairs cleaned up. I was getting ready to vacuum and shampoo the carpets in the upstairs bedrooms, but discovered that the electrical outlets weren't working, so I told Richard. He said they were overloaded and so they shut down and when he tried to turn them on again one outlet in particular sparked/flamed up. He's been busy with other work and will get to the outlets in the next day or two. In the meantime I've been going through my books and picking out the ones I want to give away to the local library and the Salvation Army. So far I've collected three shopping bags worth of books and will probably collect several more bags of them. I just don't need all these books. I used to be a reader, but now I read in fits and starts, so I only want to keep the ones that really mean something to me. I'll still have plenty of books to read.

I must confess that I've been smoking again off and on for the past two months. I haven't re-addicted myself, but I'm getting pretty damned close. I did go to one of the quit smoking sites and let them know about it, but I only went once and haven't been back in about a week. I'm going to have to pick a new quit date and try again. The main thing is to never give up on quitting. I know this.

About a year ago I was writing about making tie dye clothing. I got all the supplies for it, but never even tried it once. I realized that I really couldn't do it in my kitchen or bathroom, but now I think I will be able to do it downstairs using either my darkroom sink or the new sink that Richard is going to install in the laundry room. I will give it a try after my parents leave on the 5th of August, if the work is all done by then. I have three instructional DVDs on how to do all different kinds of tie dyes. If I master some of the techniques, I will try selling what I make online and locally. I think I could do that without feeling self-conscious the way I do about the portraiture work. I have neglected promoting myself as a portrait painter locally because I still don't feel confident enough in my skill level, but I'm still hopeful that I will be able to post my business cards sometime this year. This month I have only painted one portrait, but Nancy might commission me to paint a portrait which I'm hoping will get me back in the swing of things. And Chris Bruni, I'm hoping to paint your portrait if you're still willing.

I told my brother last week that I couldn't go with him to the four day music festival starting on the 16th because the kittens are too young to be left alone. I tried calling him twice, but he won't pick up the phone. I think he's angry about it and giving me the silent treatment. I miss him. Tomorrow I go shopping and I've invited him, but I haven't heard back from him. I'm still hoping that he will find someone else to go with because he's bought both our tickets already and I've reserved a motel room near to the event.

1 comment:

Bev said...

Kate,
I miss ya. I am so proud of the changes you are making right now. Again I just want you to know I am here to help in any way I can. Let me know when you are available to get together for lunch again so we can catch up.